Why me?
by Kris7
Summary: Find out Faith and Bosco's special assignment. Will Bosco enjoy it?
1. Default Chapter

Why me?

PG

Summary:Something happens to Bosco. But what?! Read on to find out.

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing. I should but I don't. It all belongs to them people at NBC and stuff.

Characters: Bosco, Sully, Davis, Yokas

(Bosco, Sully, and Davis are in the 55th Precinct locker room, getting ready for their shift. There's no sign of Faith Yokas. Suddenly Bosco jumps up on the benchand starts dancing, while doing a little chant, while Sully and Davis make comments as he goes along.)

Bosco: My name is Bosco.

Sully: That's news to me.

Bosco: I'm feeling fine.

Sully: That's a change.

Bosco: You mess with me, I'll blow your mind!

Davis: Sounds about right.

Bosco: Bang! Bang! Choo-choo train! Wind me up and I'll do my thing!

Sully: Cuz that's the only way you know.

Bosco: I know karate!

Davis: No you don't.

Bosco: I know kung-fu!

Sully: The only thing you know how to do Bosco, is yoga.

Bosco: You mess with me, I'll mess with you!!!!

(Bosco jumps off bench, and starts rummaging around in his locker like nothing ever happened)

Sully: So what brought about that little show?

Bosco: (shrugs) I dunno. I just felt like it.

Davis: Where'd you learn it? From a 13 year old cheerleader?

Bosco: NO!…I learned it from a 12 year old cheerleader.

Sully: Ah. So will you perform again when Faith walks in?

Bosco: Nah. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing.

Sully: I see.

(Just then the door busts open, and Faith runs in)

Sully: Geez, whats the hurry Yokas?

Yokas: A dingo ate my cookie!!!

Bosco: Why?

Yokas: I don't know! But it did!!

Bosco: Why?

Yokas: Maybe because it was hungry!

Bosco: Why?

Yokas: It hadn't eaten for awhile!!

Bosco: Why?

Yokas: Maybe because it saw your ugly face, and couldn't keep anything down!!!!!!!

Bosco: Y'know Faith, you're going to have a lot of people mad at you when they read this story.

Yokas: Why?

Bosco: Because there are a lot of Bosco Lover's out there, and they think I'm ruggedly handsome.

Sully: Yeah, and they'll be mad at you for ruining Bosco's good mood too.

Yokas: Our Bosco? In a good mood?!?!?!

Davis: Yeah. He was feeling fine. Until you got here.

Bosco: Hey now! I'm still feeling fine.

Yokas: Not for long! (takes a nightstick out which she has for no apparent reason , since she's not even on duty yet, and whacks Bosco in the back of the head. This causes Bosco to fall to the floor unconsious.)

Davis: What did you do that for!?!?

Yokas: Lieu told me to.

Davis: But why ever would he tell you to do such a thing?!

Yokas: He's putting me and Bosco on a special assignment.

Davis: What special assignment?

Yokas: Can't tell you. It's a secret.

Sully: Okay, yeah, whatever. But that still doesn't explain why you had to knock Boscorelli out.

Yokas: Would you like an explanation?

Sully: Why yes. Yes I would.

Yokas: Okay then. Lieu didn't think Bosco would cooperate and agree to go on the assignment.

Davis: so he told you to knock Bosco out…why?

Yokas: So I could tell him we were going on a special assignment without him refusing.

Sully: You didn't tell him.

Yokas: That's only cuz you keep asking questions. (looks down at unconsious Bosco) Boz, we're going on a special assignment…No, shh. I'll tell you more later. We can't have these two listening in. (looks at Davis and Sully suspiciously. Then she grabs Bosco by the arms and starts dragging him towards the door) Bye-bye boys.

Sully: (calls after here) Yokas! You don't even have your uniform on!

Yokas: (gasps. Then says quietly to unconsious Bosco) They're on to us!!! 

(She quickly dissapears out the door, dragging Bosco. Davis and Sully watch as they leave, then look at each other)

Davis: I could go for a corn dog right about now.

Sully: Hey, me too!! Lets go!

Davis: But what about roll call?

Sully: If Yokas and Bosco get to miss it, then so do we! (as he heads towards door)

Davis: Right on Sul-Mister!!! (following Sully out)

Sully: Yeah, and y'know what? Don't call me that.

Davis: How about Sul-Dawg? 

Sully: How about no?

Davis: So No-Dawg it is.

(Sully groans)

(Cut to Yokas and Bosco in squad car, out in precinct parking lot. Yokas is in the driver's seat, and still unconsious Bosco is in the passenger seat. Yokas puts the car into drive, grinning evilly"

Yokas: This is going to be SO much fun.

(as she peels out of the parking lot)

Huh. I wonder what Yokas is up to. And just where is she going to bring Bosco? Just what is their special assignment? I'd sure like to know. Wouldn't you? 


	2. Special Assignment

Hey look! Its-

Part two of Why Me?

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Apparently I still own nothing and nobody on Third Watch.

E-mail: chickwithastick12@hotmail.com

Faith and Bosco are in squad car. Bosco is unconsious, but seems to be coming to.

Bosco: (eyes flutter open) What happened? Where am I? Faith?…Oww, my head!

Faith tries to muffle her giggles with hand

Bosco: What?

Faith's muffled giggles become full out loud laughter

Bosco: (lets out a high pitched, girly scream) AHH!! I'm dressed like a woman!

Faith: (trying to control herself) Oh, good. You sound like one too.

Bosco: HOW RUDE! What is this?! Tell me what is going on Faith! Why am I dressed like this?And…and why are we sitting in a McDonalds' parking lot?!

Faith: Well I-

Bosco: (gasps) And you hit me!

Faith: (grinning madly) Guilty as charged.

Bosco: FAITH!?!??!

Faith: Alright, alright…This is our special assignment.

Bosco: What?! For me to dress up as a woman and sit in a McDonald's parking lot!?

Faith: No. That's my job. Your job is to go undercover as a McDonalds' employee and find out who's been stealing all of their hamburgers.

Bosco: That's easy. The Ham-Burglar.

~ Just in case you didn't know , the Ham-Burglar is that dude who was all dressed up in black and white stripes, a cape and a hat and all, and stole hamburgers or tried to steal burgers from Ronald McDonald's gang. Man, I haven't seen that guy forever. Sigh ~

Faith: No…Well maybe. But the old Ham-Burglar retired to Florida. So either there's a new Ham-Burglar in town , or there's some mutt running around stuffing itself with McDonald hamburgers.

Bosco: Yeah, y'know what? I don't want to do this.

Faith: I knew you wouldn't, and that's why I had to knock you out. An unconsious Bosco is a lot more cooperative than a consious one.

Bosco: (sneers) Still doesn't explain why I'm dressed like a woman.

Faith: I got bored while waiting for you to wake up.

Bosco: You dressed me?!

Faith: Yes siree. (winks) Have you been working out?

Bosco: Of course I have! I do like the ladies after all.

Faith looks Bosco up and down, then starts laughing, letting a few snorts escape.

Bosco: Shut-up. Now why didn't you dress me in a McDonalds' uniform if at all?!

Faith: I just felt like it.

Bosco: And you just happened to have some extra clothes of yours with you?

Faith: My clothes?! Ha! Those aren't my clothes! You wouldn't fit into anything of mine. You're too much of a shrimp!

Bosco: Take that back!

Faith: (as sarcastically as she can) Oh alright mister big powerful muscle man.

Bosco: Shut-up!…Hey, why can't you do this?

Faith: Because my name is Faith.

Bosco: Oh…So let me get this straight. I go in there as an employee-

Faith: Female employee.

Bosco: What?! Why?!

Faith: There's one more thing.

Bosco: And that would be?

Faith: Remember Sgt. Christopher?

Bosco: I'm trying to forget.

Faith: Yeah. Well y'know how you haven't seen him for awhile?

Bosco: Just tell me fool!

Faith: Ok, first of all-never call me a fool again.

Bosco: Ok fool, just get on with it!

Faith: Bosco, I said-

Bosco: I know what you said Faith, but I'm the man that's dressed like a woman!

Faith: Fair enough. Anyways, this is where Christopher has been.

Bosco: Here?! At McDonalds?! 

Faith: No Bosco, I just said it for kicks and giggles. YES HERE!…And it looks like you'll be working with him once again. But you can't let him know its you, hence the disguise.

Bosco: No! I refuse. I will not do this!

Me: Oh yes you will!

Bosco: Hey! Who are you?

Me: Your best friend.

Bosco: Oh, well we'll have to get together sometime.

Me: And have some tea and crumpets?

Bosco: Uh-sure, why not.

Me: Oh goody! (clpa happily and skip around in circles until I get dizzy and fall down. But I pop right back up to finish this chapter!)

Faith: That was weird.

Bosco: You're telling me. I have weird friends.

Me: I resent that!…Sorry, just ignore me.

Bosco: Yeah, anyways…Faith, I won't do it! Its bad enough working at a fast food joint, but with Christopher?!

Faith: But your best friend said you have to.

Bosco: Still…

Faith: Plus I'll give you a cookie.

Bosco: Promise you won't let a dingo eat it?

Faith: I promise. (fingers crossed) Tee hee!

Bosco: Alright I'll do it! (getting out of car)

Faith: Oh wait Maureen, you forgot your uniform. (hold it out for him, he takes it)

Bosco: Did you just call me Maureen?

Faith: That's your undercover name. Its on your nametag and everything.

Bosco: Why?

Faith: Because its kind of like Maurice.

Bosco: Whatever.

Faith: Remember you're a girl. And a sweet one at that.

Bosco: (mutters) I want to shoot myself.

Faith: Now say it like a woman….(he glares at her) What? You need to practice.

Bosco: (sighs. Then in a high pitched voice) I want to shoot myself!

Faith: Good girl.

Bosco: How humiliating.

Faith: GIRL!

Bosco: (high pitched) How humiliating.

Faith: Good Now here's a small radio so I can hear what going on. Don't forget to turn it on.

Bosco: (high pitched) Yes mom. (as he grabs it)

Faith: Now go get changed in the woman's bathroom, keep that wig on, turn your radio on, do what they tell you, your name is Maureen, and talk like a girl! (as Bosco walks towards restaurant)

Bosco: (mutters to self) Welcome to hell Maurice.

Me: Its Maureen! And talk like a girl!!!

Hmmm…I wonder how Bosco's going to handle things. Will Christopher recognize him? And who is taking all the hamburgers? And are they taking cheeseburgers too? And how about them chicken nuggets?


End file.
